Missing Nana

Leon Ann Aalberts, Owen and Maya's Nana, passed away last Friday morning, February 18.

She died early in the day, and I was with Grandpa and her at their house. I phoned Amy with the news early that morning, but she chose to tell the kids after school, when she would have more time to answer their questions, away from the rush of our typical weekday morning.

Amy told Owen first. She went to the library after she had dropped the kids off at school and found some wonderful children's books about dying to help explain all that had happened. Owen was contemplative, but seemed to absorb the situation in his usual style. He also seemed to understand the blessing that she had gone on to somewhere peaceful. Amy brought him across the street after their visit so he could play with some friends and overheard him say with with a certain degree of enthusiasm as she was leaving, "Guess what, guys?! My Nana went to heaven today!"

Time and memories help us heal, but her loss is still painful. Her 18 month battle with brain cancer was hard. She faced a steep list of challenges, but did her best to share the time she had left with her family.

Looking back on the past year and a half, I celebrate that we had several good chances to reminisce about our past, share our feelings for each other, and say good-bye. Mortality does not guarantee those experiences, but I'm sure Owen and Maya have little doubt Nana loved them deeply.

The last time the kids saw her was a little over a month ago. She still had some of her mobility then, but getting around was becoming a real and risky challenge. Within a half week of that visit, all of her care moved to her room, saving both her and Grandpa the hazard of trying to navigate the stairs.

Looking back at the pictures of her with Owen and Maya from that trip, it's difficult to imagine how special those final hugs were: for her, knowing they were likely her last from her grandchildren, and, in the future, for the kids as a memento of time with their Nana, who I'm sure they will both wish they got to know better.

That said, Nana did enjoy many precious moments with her grandchildren. She was with them both during the first few hours of their lives, and participated in many wonderful moments later, many of which you will find in earlier entries to this blog.

With Owen, 24 hours old.

With Maya, 5 hours old

We will all be at her funeral this Friday evening, where the kids will meet more of the people she loved and influenced during her life.

On Saturday, we will hustle Owen back home for his theater class's 2 pm performance. It seems kind of crazy given the circumstances, but at the same time it is also a fitting tribute to a grandmother who loved the arts and happily ushered her own children to many rehearsals, and was there at practically every one of our performances.

You were the best, Nana! We love you!